Thursday, May 28, 2009

There were 2 miracles... one went to heaven!

Today I went for my big appointment at UWMC!  I was nervous but excited at the same time!  I figured that I would get a chance to see my baby today and was very excited about that but scared at the same time that we wouldn't find what we wanted.  A healthy happy baby.  

My Doctor at the UW is great!  I really trust her and I know she knows me well after the time I spent in the hospital last year.  I had written a list of questions but none of them had to do with what we actually saw on the ultrasound monitor today.

When we started looking at the ultrasound screen my doctor said "It looks like you lost a twin."  Twin?  That was something new added to this very messy mess.  Wow, although it was something I considered and even prayed about in the hotel room in Florida, there was no evidence of a twin until today!  We saw baby A with a happy healthy heart beat between 164 and 174 and then right below that we saw a sac that was close to the same size as baby A's but with out a baby in it.  

The baby must have been lost in Florida due to the Subchorionic Hemorrhage.   I wasn't sure how to feel at first.  I had mixed emotions.  After worrying about the one baby I knew about the whole time for such a long time I didn't know how to feel about the precious little one that I lost and didn't even know it.

I am happy and excited that my one baby is doing so well!  I am looking forward to the NT Ultrasound in 2 weeks.  It is a very in depth ultrasound which measures many parts of the baby... including the bladder.  So we will be able to see things clearer in 2 weeks.

I am sad though that I had a chance to have to precious miracles that could have played together and grown up together and now will never get that chance.  I hope that baby B is safe in Jesus arms.  Chris and I decided to call baby B  Beautiful Miracle.  So Beautiful Miracle is in heaven now with baby Nels.  We don't know why this had to happen but we know that God is in control.

Abba, Heavenly Father we thank you for Baby A and for making Baby A happy and healthy!  We thank you for a happy healthy heart rate and for good movement.  Lord we thank you for Beautiful Miracle as well.  We are so sad that Beautiful Miracle could not come and be with us but we are thankful for the short amount of time that you gave us to cherish her.  Lord continue to work in Baby A's life and help it to develop completely and to be born happy and healthy.  In Jesus name, Amen!


  1. Kristin - this is such amazing news. I realise that it must hurt so much to know that you did in actual fact lose a child in early pregnancy, and that Beautiful Miracle will not get the chance to live a wonderful life with you and Chris as parents. But I thank the Lord that he/she was there. I truly believe that through her sacrifice Baby A has been able to live and will continue to grow healthily to fulfill the prophecy over your life of a girl who will dance for the Lord. The picture is bitter sweet - the missing baby and the healthy child. I am so sorry you have had another shock, but I thank and praise God for your surviving miracle.
    Dear Heavenly Father I bring Kristin before you again. Thank you that her appointment yesterday brought joy and peace. But Lord we also realise the new found pain for the loss her and Chris have suffered. I pray dear Lord you would fill them with peace and heal their hurting hearts. Allow them to feel joy for Baby A while recognising the amazing but short life of Beautiful Miracle. Heal Kristin's womb and clear that empty sack so that it will not interfere with Baby A's healthy future. Thank you Lord for continueing to work miracles in Kristin's life. I pray that you will bless them richly. Amen

  2. Thank you so much for your prayer. I tried to get Chris to pray for this last night but he just wasn't able to do it. I was so crushed. I hadn't seen him that crushed since baby Nels. I had dreams all night that Beautiful miracle was still there hiding some where. I thought of the shadows that I saw in the sac, but I know there was nothing visable there. My doctor said that the sac would either come out or that it would be reabsorbed. I am hoping it will be reabsorbed. I don't know that I could handle seeing it come out.

  3. I think your Beautiful Miracle realized s/he needed to needed to give her/his brother/sister an added boost to make it to mommy's arms. So that sweet baby decided to give him/her his/her nutrients so that Baby A could grow BIG and STRONG! They just love each other so much!! I'll praying for healing, both physically and emotionally for you.