Today I went for my big appointment at UWMC! I was nervous but excited at the same time! I figured that I would get a chance to see my baby today and was very excited about that but scared at the same time that we wouldn't find what we wanted. A healthy happy baby.
My Doctor at the UW is great! I really trust her and I know she knows me well after the time I spent in the hospital last year. I had written a list of questions but none of them had to do with what we actually saw on the ultrasound monitor today.
When we started looking at the ultrasound screen my doctor said "It looks like you lost a twin." Twin? That was something new added to this very messy mess. Wow, although it was something I considered and even prayed about in the hotel room in Florida, there was no evidence of a twin until today! We saw baby A with a happy healthy heart beat between 164 and 174 and then right below that we saw a sac that was close to the same size as baby A's but with out a baby in it.
The baby must have been lost in Florida due to the Subchorionic Hemorrhage. I wasn't sure how to feel at first. I had mixed emotions. After worrying about the one baby I knew about the whole time for such a long time I didn't know how to feel about the precious little one that I lost and didn't even know it.
I am happy and excited that my one baby is doing so well! I am looking forward to the NT Ultrasound in 2 weeks. It is a very in depth ultrasound which measures many parts of the baby... including the bladder. So we will be able to see things clearer in 2 weeks.
I am sad though that I had a chance to have to precious miracles that could have played together and grown up together and now will never get that chance. I hope that baby B is safe in Jesus arms. Chris and I decided to call baby B Beautiful Miracle. So Beautiful Miracle is in heaven now with baby Nels. We don't know why this had to happen but we know that God is in control.
Abba, Heavenly Father we thank you for Baby A and for making Baby A happy and healthy! We thank you for a happy healthy heart rate and for good movement. Lord we thank you for Beautiful Miracle as well. We are so sad that Beautiful Miracle could not come and be with us but we are thankful for the short amount of time that you gave us to cherish her. Lord continue to work in Baby A's life and help it to develop completely and to be born happy and healthy. In Jesus name, Amen!