It has been a couple weeks since I have posted. Asher keeps doing great and growing well. Today he was over 10 lbs. He has almost double his weight and still isn't even 2 months old. That is an amazing testament to God's grace and mercy and the health advantages of breast feeding.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
It has been a couple weeks since I have posted. Asher keeps doing great and growing well. Today he was over 10 lbs. He has almost double his weight and still isn't even 2 months old. That is an amazing testament to God's grace and mercy and the health advantages of breast feeding.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Asher turned one month old on December 12 and got to have a special shower with friends and family! He is doing so well and gaining weight. He is over 8 lbs now! Such a good eater! We have been blessed to have our prayers answered and Asher is now a breast feed baby by the boob and not by the bottle...except for 1 feeding because daddy wants to feed him too!
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Welcome to the world baby Asher! Happy birthday!
Monday, November 9, 2009
I know today is not his big one year day, but I didn't want anyone to think that his day went unnoticed. On last Thursday baby Nels would have been 1 year old. What a miracle it would have been to have him here with us... but he was in heaven instead on his big day.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
With the positive test quarantine continues. That has been a challenge but thankfully I have gotten to see a couple people this week. Chris came on the weekend and visited for a few hours dressed up in the hazard suites the nurses and doctors wear. Then mom came today for Asher's ultrasound.
This morning I had my 3rd H1N1 test and I am praying that it will finally show negative. I know that all things are possible with God's help and I am going to patiently wait this time for the answer. It has been taking 2 days due to back ups in the lab that they have to send the test to. I should have the results by 5 pm tomorrow.
The other results I am waiting on today are the results from Asher's ultrasound this morning. I could see a huge difference in the amount of fluid but was told there was plenty there. I also saw that the placenta was still close to the cervix. The only difference there was that there was a baby's head down there and the cervix had definitely started shrinking in length and funneling at the top getting ready for Asher to come out. I have questions for the doctors about that but they haven't come in to give me the review yet. Hopefully soon.
One other good thing about Asher's position is that he is head down and his back is up! Yay!!!! That is the right position to be in Asher! Your such a good boy. Now just wait a couple more weeks and then you can make your grand entrance into the world. 2 tiny requests though baby boy... 1 pick your own day. Your cousin Loeli's birthday is the 30th and your brothers birthday is the 5th so if you could pick a different day then that I would greatly appreciate it! :) 2nd request... please please don't be born on the 31st. Mommy and daddy don't celebrate halloween and wouldn't want you to have to share your big day with that holiday either. We asked your big brother in heaven the same thing... and he skipped that day for us! :) We love you Asher.
God, thank you for Asher and for helping him grow. Lord I ask that you make the swine flu come back negative and that you help me to be able to reach out to other mom's here in the hospital. Lord please keep Asher safe during his birth and help him to be born after my flu results are negative. In Jesus name, Amen!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
I had looked up side effects of my medication and coughing was one of them so I was not too worried. I figured it was just the medication. I had no other flu symptoms at all. But in case I did have it my room quickly became a quarantined zone. Only Nurses and doctors with full protection came into my room. My door was shut and I was not allowed to go to art group which I was really looking forward to.
My flu tests results were supposed to come back thursday night. Well they didn't so my door stayed closed. On friday the doctors offered me tamiflu in the morning... but I didn't want to take it unless I needed to take it so I waited for my results. It wasn't until 6:30 friday night that I found out my results. (I hear another shoe falling... get away you darn centipede)
I was told I was H1N1 positive. I had no idea what this meant for me or for the baby so I wanted to talk to the doctors about it. Unfortunately it was a busy night and I was told by the nurse that the doctors just didn't have time to talk to me. That threw me into a panic. I hate having questions that I can't answer myself. I didn't want to wait until the next day. I felt very isolated and very scared.
The next day one of the doctors came in later on during the day and answered my questions. For the most part though I have been in my room by myself since thursday. Not even the food service people will enter my room... in fact at first they wouldn't even knock as they left my tray outside my door. Now at least they knock before they scurry away.
One of the questions I asked the doctor was how long I was contagious. She told me that 48 hours after taking tamiflu I was no longer contagious. Yesterday, however, I was told that since pregnant people have weakened immune systems that they are contagious for a week. So instead of testing me the night I finish my tamiflu they will not be testing me again until Friday. That means I may not get my results until Saturday night or Monday night... missing a second weekend with my husband. I really really really really don't want that to happen.
I don't like being alone, and I don't like my door closed. It is very hard for me. Not seeing or hearing others can be very disturbing. Right now I am waiting for my morning BP to be taken. It was supposed to be taken an hour and 10 minutes ago. I guess being out of sight makes it harder to be remembered. I am not very good at asking for help either though so I guess it may be partly my fault too.
I am supposed to see my doctor some time today... but who knows when. She has clinic today so may actually not want to see me because of the H1N1 and the other patients... even though... I do have a scheduled appointment for today I think at 12:45. Maybe she will come up then? Maybe not? I guess I will just have to see who shows up today.
I had nebulizer treatments a couple days to make it so I could breath easier. They helped me sleep better.... so that i could lay down instead of sitting up. Yesterday I didn't do them and last night I probably could have but didn't really want to put extra medication in myself. Asher has had enough medication I think.
Lord God, please help me to get out of this isolation. Make it so when Asher is born I will be able to be with him and keep him safe. Help him to grow well and to get everything he needs in the days ahead so that when he is born he will be able to do well. Give me your peace in my alone time and keep me company when I am lonely. In Jesus name, amen.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
I wanted to take some time today to post the last ultrasound picture taken of Asher a week ago. I know I was going to try and post it sooner but I just wasn't feeling up to it. I fixed the picture up yesterday and decided that now would be a good time to post it.
Today we are in the no news is good news stance with baby Asher. He has been moving all over the place causing a few more contractions but is doing well. My blood pressure seems to be doing good although I feel a little funny today so they are watching me close. Thankfully the doctor took me off the twice a day weighing plan. It was getting a bit discouraging seeing my weight go down every morning and then down more at night...very odd to me. But the weight was probably caused by the high blood pressure and was water... so it is good that it is coming down. That means less to lose after Asher is born. :)
God is keeping us both safe here in the hospital. I am thankful for that. Today I met a woman online who had preeclampsia that wasn't diagnosed until it was too late. I feel so bad for what happened to her. She lost her child at 33 weeks. I couldn't imagine that. It would be so awful. It makes me feel ever so blessed to have the care that I do have this year.
I wish all the women up here in the hospital felt as blessed and were as cooperative with treatment as I am. I have heard too many women complaining about taking their medications or doing simple things like testing their blood sugars in order to keep their babies safe. It seems like the diabetic ones complain the most... but the nurses and doctors are just trying to keep them and their babies safe. Take your meds ladies!!! Keep your babies safe!!!! Don't put them at risk for some carbs!!!! Some moms complain about the monitoring too. That is the best part! You get to hear your babies heart beats and movements. It is wonderful and miraculous! Walls are thin here ladies!!! Ok, I know I need to be nice but come on! I would do anything I have to to keep my precious Asher safe. I am taking my meds.... even though at first I was concerned about them and what they would do to him. I know I have to function right in order to keep him growing safely!
Today is 30 weeks for Baby Asher!!!! That is a miracle!!! He is still inside and growing!!! God is in control and when God wants Asher born he will be. I am waiting on the Lord and will trust in him for Asher!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Here is what I found when I looked it up:
What does the phrase 'waiting for the other shoe to drop' mean?
It means waiting for something bad to happen which you are expecting.
It comes from a famous music hall joke about a man who is woken by the drunk upstairs dropping his shoe. He can't get back to sleep because he is waiting for the second crash on the ceiling. Eventually he shouts upstairs "For Heavens sake, drop the other shoe!"
So as you can see waiting for just one shoe to drop... doesn't work for me or Asher. If that were true I would have been done with my shoe way earlier in this pregnancy. Misdiagnosed miscarriage, SCH, EIF, placenta close to cervix, PIH, preeclampsia, and contractions. Way too many shoes.
In reality though have I really been waiting for something bad to happen? Do I not trust God enough to be sure that my baby will be born happy and healthy? I know the loss of baby Nels 11 months ago today has effected me greatly. It made me mistrust doctors because they didn't catch his problem soon enough (even though I really do trust my doctors here, because they were the ones who got me my hour with Nels.) It caused me to re-examine my faith and belief in miracles ( although since then I have come to see my hour with Nels as my miracle.) It made me think that at any time a precious miracle could be snatched away. It tore my very heart out and left it in shreds. It made me believe that I had done something to deserve my son being taken away,,,but I know God does not work that way.
So why am I waiting for something more to happen? I know that I should be expecting the best for baby Asher. He will be born happy and healthy. He will come home safely. He will live a long happy life. I will be able to feed him, nurture him and give him everything the Lord has blessed me with. God has protected Asher so far. I have no doubts that God will bring him safely into this world.
So should I wait for yet another shoe? No way! No more shoes! See ya later centipede!
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Today however my cervix was not only down to 2 but it was also open and dilated to 2 as well. So they gave me some medicine to stop the contractions or calm the uterus. This medicine was working a little so I hope that it will help to keep Asher happy and in me for some time.
I would love for Asher to be able to stay in until the beginning of November... but it is up to God at this point when he wants Asher born. I will do my best to do everything I can to keep him safe and happy inside until that time.
Dear God, I come to you today and thank you for Asher. I thank you that you are working in his life and that you are preparing a place for him here. Lord I ask that you help Asher to stay in and grow as long as he can so he won't have to go to NICU. I want to have him be born happy healthy and whole. Thank you Lord for all you are doing. Amen.
Friday, October 2, 2009
The doctor who is doing rounds this week is the cardiac OB specialist of the hospital and he is working with my doctor to keep Asher and I safe. When I brought up that I had concerns about this drug he sat down and explained everything to me. He told me all about a study that they had done here on breast feeding and this drug as well. So even though I don't like being on drugs, I now feel that it must be God's will for me to have them. I know God wants the best for me. He doesn't want me or Asher hurt.
Then I talked to my doctor a little bit later. She used the words preeclampsia instead of pregnancy induced hypertension this time. So that gave them reason to keep me here until Asher is born safely. I want him safe. I would to anything to make sure he comes into this world in a safe way and that he will get to come home with us!
Asher is moving a ton today. He even decided that maybe it would be fun to take up residence on mommy's ribs... Yes... on top! Don't ask me how that happened. I just have a really long uterus. The movement brings me some peace... as does knowing that I will be here safe. God, is ultimately in control and His will will be done.
So my prayer focus will be on Asher growing, on maintaining a good BP, and on staying calm and safe in this place for Asher.
Abba, Heavenly Father, I thank you that you always know the plan and that when I feel like things are out of my control, I can come to you and ask for your peace that passes understanding. Lord you are in control. I am a vessel here that you can mold and make in the way you desire. Lord give your directions and I will follow them. I will rest in your presence and wait for the day I can hold my little boy in my arms and dedicate him unto you! In Jesus name, amen!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Tonight I was moved over to the Antepartum unit of the hospital. This is the unit where mom's who need help but aren't in labor go. It is so much quieter on this side. In the first room I was in there were several babies born. 3 in one room while I was there to different mom's and 2 in another. Most of them went down to the postpartum room rather quickly. But today there was a little boy crying in the one room next to me for most of the day. It is a beautiful sound in a way... but one that made me very sad at the same time, because my little boy last year didn't get a chance to cry like that. Poor baby Nels was barely able to make any noises at all but each sound that came from him was precious to me.
They came in my room earlier and told me that the orders were changed from constant monitoring of baby Asher to once a day monitoring for 20 minutes. I lost it after the nurse left... and was on the phone with Chris when the doctors came in. They did tell me though that if it made me feel more comfortable to hear Asher more that they could do it more often and just to ask. I would do it all the time if it were up to me so that probably wasn't the best thing to tell me at that moment but it gave me some peace to know that I could here my baby before I go to bed.
I am sorry I didn't get the picture taken of the ultrasound picture yet today. I will have to do that tomorrow. So far as far as I know the plan has not changed passed keeping me for the weekend. That makes me extremely nervous! Handling medication on my own would not only be scary for me but not having Asher monitored but once every other week would be awful. I would be in constant panic. I can't lose this little one. I refused to do that. I don't want to not be able to bring him home. I need this help to keep him safe and to keep myself safe. I couldn't handle losing another baby. It would break me apart completely. I am so scared for baby Asher. I don't want my body to be a hostile place for him. I want it to be a welcoming happy place were he grows safely.
The medication they have put me on now is called Atenolol. It does have risk factors for Asher that I just read about. It is a catagory D drug which is generally not given to pregnant people... only if the risk out weighs the benifits is it given. The risk for Asher is more then I thought it would be and I am going to have to talk with my doctor about it. Here is what I found out about the drug and pregnancy from a medical site
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) uses a category system to classify the possible risks to a fetus when a specific medicine is taken during pregnancy. Atenolol is considered a pregnancy Category D medicine. Pregnancy Category D is given to medicines that have shown clear evidence of risk to the fetus in studies. A pregnancy Category D medicine may still be given to a pregnant woman if the healthcare provider believes that the benefits to the woman outweigh the possible risks to the unborn child.
What Is the Risk of Using Atenolol When Pregnant?
A few of the complications seen with some fetuses or newborns exposed to atenolol near the end of pregnancy include:Low birth weight
Low blood sugar (hypoglycemia)
Slowed heart rate (bradycardia).
Studies suggest that the risk of low birth weight increases with the length of time that atenolol is used (with the largest problems seen when women take atenolol for several weeks or more during pregnancy).Atenolol and Breastfeeding: An Overview
Atenolol (Tenormin®) passes through breast milk in humans. It is a beta blocker medication that is used to lower blood pressure and decrease the heart rate. Atenolol can cause serious problems in a nursing infant. Therefore, you should talk with your healthcare provider before taking it if you are breastfeeding or plan to start.
Can I Take This Medication While Breastfeeding?
In general, taking atenolol while breastfeeding is not recommended. The drug accumulates in breast milk, and a nursing infant can receive a significant portion of the atenolol dose. Problems such as a dangerously slow heart rate, low blood pressure, and low blood sugar may occur. Blue skin (caused by problems with the heart and oxygen) has also occurred.
Talking With Your Healthcare Provider
You should talk with your healthcare provider about breastfeeding and Each woman's situation is different, and you and your healthcare provider understand your situation best. After considering what you want and expect, as well as your current health situation, the two of you can make a shared decision that is right for you.
No, this is not acceptable. I can't do this to my baby! I won't put him through any more pain! I don't know what to do! I need to talk to my doctor about this because I really hope there is a better answer. I don't want harm to come to me or Asher... but I will not put his life and his food source later at risk. God, please help me find a better way. I wish my doctor was here now but she won't be here until tomorrow. I can't be taking this drug through out the rest of the pregnancy. Good... my blood pressure is down now.... bad this drug can harm my baby. The FDA rates the safety of drugs for pregnant women in categories. Atenolol is catagory D the one right before never take. Here is how the categories go
Controlled studies in women fail to demonstrate a risk to the fetus in the first trimester (and there is no evidence of a risk in later trimesters), and the possibility of fetal harm appears remote.
Either animal-reproduction studies have not demonstrated a fetal risk but there are no controlled studies in pregnant women, or animal-reproduction studies have shown an adverse effect (other than a decrease in fertility) that was not confirmed in controlled studies in women in the first trimester (and there is no evidence of a risk in later trimesters).
Either studies in animals have revealed adverse effects on the fetus (teratogenic or embryocidal or other) and there are no controlled studies in women, or studies in women and animals are not available. Drugs should be given only if the potential benefit justifies the potential risk to the fetus.
There is positive evidence of human fetal risk, but the benefits from use in pregnant women may be acceptable despite the risk (e.g., if the drug is needed in a life-threatening situation or for a serious disease for which safer drugs cannot be used or are ineffective).
Studies in animals or human beings have demonstrated fetal abnormalities, or there is evidence of fetal risk based on human experience or both, and the risk of the use of the drug in pregnant women clearly outweighs any possible benefit. The drug is contraindicated in women who are or may become pregnant.
Why can't they give me something from A or B? Asher is my one chance to do this right... now I feel like I just screwed that up by blindly taking medications that could hurt him. God please for give me and protect my baby. There has to be something else that can be done... there just has to be! I will glady sit chained to my bed for the rest of the time... I will take anything that won't hurt him... but please please please... there has to be something else.
An Ultracom is a heart diagnostic procedure that was actually developed in 1979 at the University of Washington where it was done. Basically what they do is take an ultrasound receiver and place it on the heart to look at the blood flow and the dilation of the blood vessels. The start with looking at the heart measurements on what looks like radio frequencies rather then a picture of the heart. Once these measurements are taken the take a measurement of the blood flow from the artery in your neck. This is the most uncomfortable part of the test by in most parts is completely painless and is noninvasive. There are two ways blood pressure can be made.... by out put and by tightening. When they did my Ultracom both ways were effected.
So with the results of the Ultracom I was checked in upstairs at the hospital. I was immediately put on 3 blood pressure medications and Magnesium Sulfate. The Magnesium does many different things. It works to help protect the mom and the baby from stroke, it can help protect the baby from brain damage, it relaxes muscles, lowers blood pressure (for some) and helps stop preterm labor. It has the nasty side effects of:"Flushing, Nausea, Vomiting, Palpitations, Headache, General muscle weakness, Lethargy, & Constipation" but for me it is like a over all heating of my arm where the IV is, nausea, & headache. It really is not that bad compared to how some people feel on it.
Yesterday I was only given one of the BP medications as my BP had been in normal range since they brought it down rapidly the night before. In the afternoon I was taken off the clear liquid diet but lost part of the meal I ate. I don't really feel hungry but the nurse said this morning that I was needing to get something in so we are trying to do a very mild meal... cream of rice with honey and peanut butter and a bannana. I am hoping that will stay down as I slowly eat it while blogging.
I was told yesterday that I would be here in the hospital at least through this weekend. I am still going under the assumption that this is just PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension) and not the preeclampsia because they haven't told me anything really different. They did say though that this last pee test did have some protein in it which is a sign of preeclampsia. I guess I will learn more later. I will be getting off the magnesium by 3 today. When I get off the magnesium they will have to evaluate if I need more medication or not for the blood pressure and what I need to do to keep myself and Asher safe. I am praying that they will keep monitoring Asher until he is born. He needs to be born safe and happy and that would be the best way for this to happen.
I had another Ultracom yesterday for my heart and then I had an Ultrasound for Asher. Today I found out that he is 3 lbs just right for his age not big not small. That was good to find out he has been growing ok. The placenta is only 1.2 cm from the cervix now. I think that is a change of .2 not enough to make a difference yet but we should have more time before he is born, depending on my BP. I have a new ultrasound picture from yesterday that I will post later. I need to be able to take a picture of it to put it online.
Dear God, thank you for getting Asher and I the help we need. Thank you for put us in the hospital where they can make sure that Asher is doing well. Lord I ask that you continue to help Asher and I to do well in this way and to get the care we need. Lord I give this time in the hospital to you and ask that you work in Asher in this time to help him grow and be born healthy. Please have them keep us under watchful eye and do not let anything happen to baby Asher. I pray Lord that you will make it so I will be able to take home a happy healthy baby boy. In Jesus name, amen!
Friday, September 25, 2009
Today was the day I turned in my 12 hour test and did my 3 hour glucose test. Chris and I speant the morning at UW medical center doing blood tests and walking around the area. Since I had a blood test every hour it was important for me to stay close so we mostly walked across to the ship canal and went to the sculpture area near the surgery pavilion.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Wow, 26 weeks! Praise God! It has been a journey to get here but I am glad that Asher is still moving, growing and being good.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
THIS BLOG IS ABOUT THE AMAZING GRACE THAT GOD HAS GIVEN US AND THE MIRACLES HE HAS PREFORMED IN THIS PREGNANCY. WE PRAISE GOD FOR WHAT HE IS DOING IN OUR LIVES AND PRAY THAT THIS PREGNANCY CONTINUES!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Today during our 24 week ultrasound we got some more news that threw us off. Asher still has the EIF on his heart. It is very visible on the ultrasound pictures. I had them take a picture of it for Chris so that he would be able to see what I was talking about.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
On Tuesday we had the 21 week ultrasound for Asher. The first thing they took pictures of was his heart... then his head... then back to his heart. They told me that his heart rate was 154. Next they looked at his kidneys and bladder and said that they looked healthy. They then showed me his boy parts once again to prove to me he was who we named him. I didn’t really see the parts in the last ultrasound. I was too upset to look.
After that they went back to his heart. I figured they were just looking at different parts of the heart at first... but with more and more pictures taken of the heart I began to be concerned. My mom asked if the heart looked ok. The ultrasound tech said yes it looks fine and then went on to measure his legs and his belly.
Then as always the ultrasound tech went out to talk to the radiologist about the pictures to make sure they are all what they needed and that the pictures are good. Well, when she came back in she said she needed more pictures. I asked her also to take some pictures for Chris because she hadn’t given me any or taken any cute pictures of Asher.
So when she began again she went straight to the heart again. I knew in my spirit that something was wrong and that there was something in the heart that they were looking at even though they wouldn’t say anything about it. My heart sank. So my Asher’s kidneys and bladder looked good but something is wrong in his heart... why are my little boys under attack. What is wrong this time?
When I got in my doctors office for the doctor’s visit after the ultrasound she said the baby looked good and that he was doing good. I then asked about his heart. My doctor said she didn’t want to tell me about it and have me worry but since I asked she told me that Asher has an Echocentric Intracardiac Focus.
EIF is normally associated with an increased risk for Downs Syndrome and Trisomy 18. It however can be associated with other genetic disorders as well.
My Doctor told me that since I had the integrated screening earlier that tests for genetic disorders that this EIF is just like a genetic marker no different then having blue eyes. I of course was not satisfied with this answer and wanted to research more... but with lack of internet I knew that it would take a while and I wouldn’t be able to do it until the next day. So I went to the library Wednesday to look up EIF online.
I wasn’t able to do in-depth research yet but from what I have found Downs Syndrome is not the only thing at EIF is a marker for but it is a major one for Downs. But there needs to be more markers to make it a diagnosis.
My doctor went over my integrated blood screen with me to show me that it wasn’t very likely that Asher would have Downs. She told me at my age chances are 1 in 100 for Downs. Then She told me that my blood tests gave me the results of 1 in 7000 but that the EIF made it down to a 1 in 6500 chance.
1 in 6500 doesn’t seem like a very big chance to most people I am sure... especially compared with my age risk factor which was 1 in 100. To me though it is a very scary thought. When we found out that baby Nels had PUV that was a 1 in 8000 chance. 1 in 8000 is bigger then 1 in 6500.
Then my doctor told me that there needs to be other markers for it to mean anything. She said my blood tests would have been different and that they would be looking for slow growth in the baby. Short arms and legs. This is one area that makes me feel a little better. Asher’s leg measurements were almost 2 weeks ahead! My doctor told me that he’s a tall boy. Long legs! Grow Asher Grow! Although they will be keeping an eye on his measurements for me. So now not only will they be doing close looks at the Kidneys and bladder to make sure he doesn’t get PUV but they will be also be looking at his heart to make sure nothing goes wrong there.
I know that we really need to trust in God on this and pray that Asher’s heart will heal and that the EIF will go away. I did some reading that said that EIF’s could go away by the third trimester. My next ultrasound isn’t for 4 weeks. That is a long time for me to wait. I know that I will be busy during those weeks getting our home ready for Asher so I think that will help... but I really wish there was something that can be done sooner.
They keep telling me that to really measure growth well you have to wait four weeks. So this time 4 weeks is what we got. My doctor said that if there was any problems that I could always come in before then. I am praying for no problems.
Lord God, I come to you in the name of Yeshua, Jesus Christ your son and ask for you to do a mighty work in baby Asher’s life. Lord I ask that you heal him and set him free from the EIF. Lord Please make the calcium deposit disappear and make his heart strong and healthy. Give him a healthy life filled with your grace, mercy and love Lord. Help him to grow up to be a man who worships and praises you. In Jesus name, Amen!