When it rains it pours!

It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring? AAAAAAHHHHHH! Ok so I thought that I passed the glucose test based on the email I got saying that my labs were good so far. I guess I was wrong!!! Wrong, Wrong, Wrong!!!!

I barely failed it again. Just like with Nels... 148. The cut off is 140. What to they expect when they give a woman an artificial sugar filled, chemical laden drink.. who doesn't eat chemicals or preservatives... and who is on a lower carb diet? Ahhhhhhh! That just frustrates me so much! So now I get to go into the hospital for 3 hours tomorrow to take another glucose test. Which I easily passed with Nels... Hopefully will pass it with Asher as well. I don't think I could handle adding another stressor to my already high BP.

I think this test is so bogus!!!! It is a fake situation. Who would eat ten candy bars worth of sugar in less then 5 minutes. Come on! That is ridiculous! I can see how it may help them identify people with big problems but really... I am sick of the poking and prodding and I was hoping to avoid this one this time.

I am doing my 12 hour pee test tonight as well for the blood pressure to make sure it is PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension) and not preeclampsia. I was planning on doing it from 9pm tonight until 9am tomorrow. Well my 3 hour test begins at 8:30 in the morning. In order to get there during rush hour I would need to be done with my pee test by 6 am. So that means from 6pm to 6am I have to collect urine and refrigerate it.

That doesn't sound that hard... except for the fact that we are supposed to go out to dinner tonight with the in-laws who are up from Oregon stopping by on their way to Canada this weekend. So in order to start the pee test on time... I will have to hold it while we are out. My stress right now is through the roof. I can just imagine that my BP is too.

I know I need to calm down and trust that God is doing what is best for Asher and I. I even think that God had this planned. My husband has tomorrow off of work. He has had it scheduled off of work since the end of November last year. Coincidence... I don't think so. He picked this random Friday in September to have off. There have been a few times this year when he has almost changed it, but for some reason never did. So now he gets to go to the hospital with me.

What is really scaring me right now is that I had the 3 hour glucose test with Nels on the same day of the week last year. It was on Friday. Two days before I ended up in the hospital for 39 days with Nels. The only difference is the actual date is one day earlier. I am afraid of last year repeating itself.

On Sunday I am supposed to go on the walk for Fetal Hope in Kirkland. I felt like it was important to honor baby Nels on that day because it will be the same day of the week that I ended up in the hospital with him last year. I just pray that I will still get to do it.

There is a difference this year. I don't have an ultrasound scheduled for Sunday.... and that is what ultimately landed me in the hospital that day. It just seems too much like a repeat of last year. Living it over is not fun.

Asher please hang in there. Mommy is trying to lower the blood pressure. Breath Kristin, Breath.

I know that with God it will turn out alright what ever happens tomorrow and this weekend. I know that God is the author and perfecter of life and that he is protecting little Asher even now as I sit here with my eye watering and fear building. I also know fear is not of God. I should not fear... but stand in faith and come prayerfully before the thrown of God. I could just use a little break though.

I am not a bad person. I do my best to help others. I try to take care of myself and my baby the best that I can. It just seems like I am hitting another road block. I know the test isn't that bad. I did do it last year. It is just that it is happening at the same time that is hitting me so hard. Please God give me strength. Keep me safe and above all keep my little boy safe. He doesn't deserve to have to go through any more yucky stuff.