Thursday, April 30, 2009

A lot has happened in a short amount of time!

There has been much that has happened since we first found out that we were expecting our little miracle.  We have gone through a rollercoaster of emotions in the last couple weeks.  My beta #'s have been great and were doubling like they are supposed to so we figure it was a clear ride so far.  

We had a trip planned to go see my husband's grandma in Florida from the 22nd to the 26th of April.  That is why it has taken so long for me to post again.  In fact at one point I was no longer going to post... but God did another miracle.  

On Thursday night the 23rd  I ended up in the ER in St Petersburg Florida.  I was bleeding heavily and passed some clots which I though may have been the baby.  The ER doctors told me that I had miscarried.  Even though my #'s that night were at the appropriate doubling level.  They did an ultrasound but all they could see was the sac... no yoke or fetal pole.  So the tech said it could have been expelled.  I got back to my room in the hotel at close to 2 am Friday morning.  I was devastated and so was Chris.  We had so hoped our little miracle would make it.

In fact 5 minutes before I bled we had bought a little onesie that matched t-shirts we had purchased for ourselves.  It was so hard the next couple days in Florida.  With out hope and feeling so sad.  We didn't know what we could do.

The ER told me to follow up with my doctor at home... so I called the doctor's office and told them what the ER had said.  My Doctor wasn't in so they talked to the head of the department and he told them to tell me to keep my ultrasound appointment for monday to make sure everything was out.  I stopped bleeding after  I returned home from the ER so I was afraid that they would have to do a D&C.  

I am not very good at giving up hope very easily and with all the miracles God had preformed so far I was hoping beyond hope that maybe there was still a miracle for us.  I prayed before I left for the ultrasound that if God wanted us to have this baby that it would be there with it's heart beating.  I just didn't want to give up because I know that our God is a God of miracles... and I really didn't want the doctors to order something else done if there was any chance for our baby.

On Monday when I got to the ultrasound they told me that I didn't need the 32 ouces of water I had consumed since they were only going to do the vaginal ultrasound.  They told be to use the restroom and come back in.  This was the day after we flew home.  When I used the restroom 3 large clots the size of the palm of my hand came out.  I figured that this was the rest of the miscarriage. 

When I went back into the room I asked the tech if she could see that everything was out.  She said "No... I see a heartbeat."  I was in total shock and awe.  God had saved my baby even after all the things that had happened... the baby was still there and it's heart was beating.  Praise God.  But then came the question where is all this bleeding comin from?

After the ultrasound I talked with my doctors nurse.  She said I had a Subchorionic Hemorrhage of the placenta.  That threw me and scared me.  I asked if I could get an appointment with my doctor sooner.  She said no... now that it is a confirmed pregnancy I need to go to a different doctor.

They set me up with at doctor's appointment for the next day.  The doctor I saw said that all I could do is continue taking the prometrium they put me on and to rest and pray for the bleeding to stop.  I spotted most of Tuesday and Wednesday until and old looking clot that was dark and rubbery came out.  I have been praying that God will heal the Hemorrhage and keep the baby safe.

For the next two weeks until my next appointment I am laying low on bed rest , pelvic rest and praying for my little one.  My next appointment is on 5/14 for an ultrasound with the doctor in the office.

Here is our first ultrasound picture.  The arrow is pointing to where the heart is beating.  The dark spot on the side is the hemorrhage.  Please pray with me for it to go away.  It is important for the health of the baby. 

Abba, Heavenly Father, I come to you in the name of Yeshua, Jesus Christ your son, and ask for you to completely heal this hemorrhage.  As the woman with the issue of blood reached out for the hem of Jesus garment and received healing so am I today.  Heal my womb that it may carry this precious little miracle and keep it healthy.  Lord give me peace as I rest in you, and faith to stand up to this situation.  Lord I bless your name for all that you have done so far in this little miracles life.  I pray that you will strengthen and put a hedge of protection around this little miracle and keep it so safe inside.  Lord thank you for this chance to carry such a precious miracle again.  This time Lord, please let the baby be born healthy and help it to have a wonderful life in you!  In thy name I pray, Amen!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

A little more back ground.

Ok so here is a little bit more background on what conception has been like for my husband and I. We have been through a very long journey to get to this point and we are praying that our little miracle will grow happy and healthy for the time the baby needs to grow inside! I just found out on Friday that I was pregnant... which was a total miracle as this has been a totally odd cycle right after a miscarriage Feb 5. I ended up not geting a period at all but maybe ovulating 2 times.... once because of the clomid on CD 28 and once on my own on CD 49 or 50. What is really odd was after a negative beta I ended up having an ultrasound to check for problems. They said that my lining was too thick and thought I had gotten back something I had in 2007 which caused abnormal cells and polyps and pre cancers. But that problem was cause by a gluten allergy of which I have been clean from since that time so I didn't know how it would come back. Anyways they did the ultrasound and found that I had follicles growing on both ovaries but that my lining was thick so my doctor decided later that week to do a biopsy. That very day could have been the day I ovulated, but my doctor even after I talked to her about the follicles didn't say that anything could happen. In fact she said I needed to take progesterone to bring on AF for 10 days. I started that after doing another negative beta test. Now they never told me the #'s on those so I am assuming they were 0 but I do not know this for sure. After the 10 days on progesterone still no AF in 11 days. I had one digital pregnancy test left over from my clomid round in February so I decided to take it. It said "Pregnant". That was on Friday morning so I called the clinic as soon as they opened and they ran my beta's for me very quickly, the lab said they had a rush on it. My beta level Friday was 1174. I thought that was quite high for a new pregnancy... but with the other negative ones the timing is only there for that. I had another one run this morning but won't get the results until monday morning. In all my pregnancies before I never knew my beta results. I lost 9 little ones between 4.5 and 6 weeks early in our marriage. We have been trying since 1994. After the first 9 we stopped counting... I guess we were just to numb to do so. Until 2006 when we lost one much later. I didn't know I was pregnant and we were on our way on a cross country road trip from Washington State to Arkansas to help at an international worship conference. On the Idaho/Utah border the is a rest stop and that is where we lost what we count as #10 even though there were some in between. That baby was much larger and was probably around 8 weeks. It wasn't until I bleed for a whole year that I went back to to the doctors. You see I had been avoiding them for 5 years because they told me they wanted to take my parts out.... and I refused to give up hope. It was at that time through much prayer and study that I figured out the main cause of all my MC's in the past. Glutens. They made my body fight against itself. Kind of like an autoimmune disease. In 2007 I was told that I had high blood pressure, liver disease, kidney disease, hypothyroid, type 2 diabetes, PCOS and the Hypoplasia thick lining of the uterus that I talked about earlier. The first doctor I talked to told me I would be on multiple medications for the rest of my life. Then my OB/GYN did a biopsy to find the abnormal cells and polyps. She scheduled me for exploratory surgery and a D&C. The day I got the news I had started on a special diet that cut out all artificial ingredients and processed foods. Unknowingly I cut out the root of all my problems. I had cut out all wheat products. During the exploratory surgery they found no abnormal cells at all. Also by the time of my surgery I was off all the medications. It was through the prayer and study that I found out more about the gluten allergy. It turns out that it is a big cause of infertility. The doctors put me on progesterone for 3 months at that time to make sure nothing came back and of course on my biopsy in November everything was perfectly ok! I went through a lot in 2007 but finally towards the end my doctor said the difference in my body was like day and night and that it was ok to work on trying to conceive again. (Not that I had stopped) We never really ever stopped TTC... but decided that we were going to put off doing anything medically to conceive until after June 08 because I had 2 international trips before that. God's timing is not always our own though and right after I got back from China in the end of April 2008 I found out I was close to 8 weeks pregnant... and did not know it before I left. So the whole time in China that I thought was food poisoning it turned out to be morning (all day) sickness. My pregnancy was going great. Did the CVS at 12 and 16 weeks and everything was looking good. At 19 weeks we found out we were having a boy. And then for the next 10 weeks of pregnancy they put me on auto pilot. Seeing different doctors every time and only seeing my doctor for a total of 15 minutes during the pregnancy. On my visit at 28 weeks they said I was measuring way ahead. 32 weeks... so they scheduled an ultrasound to see if they had been off on the timing. Big difference huh! That was the same week of my first ever baby shower. I was so excited... I asked to get it done before the shower but the only day they had open was Sunday... the day after. Oh how I wish it was before now. On that Sunday I went in to my ultrasound expecting everything would be fine. I had just put the presents from the shower in the crib from the day before and was going to come right home to unpack them. The ultrasound tech had troubles with the pictures. To make a hugely long story short I ended up getting a call at the ultrasound place from a physician who told me my water had broken and that I need to get to the hospital right away for some test. He told me I would be there a couple days. I don't know if that was a deliberate lie or if he just felt that way... because I ended up in that hospital for 5 days and then transfered to the University of Washington Medical center for the next 34 days. My son was born at 34 weeks with a condition called Posterior Urethral Valves which basically caused him not to be able to pee out the amniotic fluid that they produce themselves from week 16. That is why no fluid was found during the ultrasound. Because of this his lungs did not form so he wasn't able to breath much. He was born Nov 5 2008 and died only one short hour after birth. Because of my age they said no time to waste if I wanted to have another child... so they decided to put me on clomid in January. I conceived and lost that child very quickly... due to the fact that it could not implant well enough because of vitamins I had taken the month before that interact with clomid. I took my second round of clomid right away after the MC. Then the rest of the story is up above. It is a total miracle. I know it is still early but we are so hopeful for this little one. We are praying for a :girl: girl. Even though the condition our son had is not genetic it still happens to 1 in 8000 boys. We don't want that to happen again... so we pray for a girl every time we pray! I am also wearing pink and surrounding myself with pink. Don't think that will do anything but I know that God does listens to prayers. I know this because this child is a total miracle. I got to the point of this cycle that I was praying for my period but God had a much better surprise planned. :)

Friday, April 17, 2009

A new beginning.... what a surprise we got today!

Today My husband and I woke up to a big surprise from God!  A little miracle is on it's way!

Every child is a miracle but after all we have been through trying to have a child in the last almost 15 years now... this is a very special miracle to us!

I guess I should explain a little about why this is such a miracle.

You see... most of the babies we have conceived have ended up being taking to heaven very early.
We lost the most recent one in February after only a few days of pregnancy.  It did not implant right.  Only 3 months before that we lost our son... who was our first really big miracle baby.  He died only one hour after birth from a condition called Posterior Urethral Valves.  It is a condition that happens to 1 in 8000 boys.  Not genetic, thank fully, but they have no cause either so that tends to make us nervous.  Thusly we are praying for a girl right now.

Our little boy's name was Nels!  He was the biggest blessing in our lives and we miss him so much.  He was born and died November 5th 2008.  We thank God so much for the hour that we got to spending loving him, anointing him, and holding him.  It was such a blessing.

I am really tired tonight and just wanted to begin this blog on the day we found out we were going to have a miracle.  So I guess I will have to write more about our journey to this point tomorrow. 

I just want to say that God is so good and really does answer prayers!  He has answered ours in ways we hadn't even hoped for.  Just yesterday we were praying for my period to start so we could begin an new round of fertility treatments... but today... no need for that. :)