Tonight I was moved over to the Antepartum unit of the hospital. This is the unit where mom's who need help but aren't in labor go. It is so much quieter on this side. In the first room I was in there were several babies born. 3 in one room while I was there to different mom's and 2 in another. Most of them went down to the postpartum room rather quickly. But today there was a little boy crying in the one room next to me for most of the day. It is a beautiful sound in a way... but one that made me very sad at the same time, because my little boy last year didn't get a chance to cry like that. Poor baby Nels was barely able to make any noises at all but each sound that came from him was precious to me.
They came in my room earlier and told me that the orders were changed from constant monitoring of baby Asher to once a day monitoring for 20 minutes. I lost it after the nurse left... and was on the phone with Chris when the doctors came in. They did tell me though that if it made me feel more comfortable to hear Asher more that they could do it more often and just to ask. I would do it all the time if it were up to me so that probably wasn't the best thing to tell me at that moment but it gave me some peace to know that I could here my baby before I go to bed.
I am sorry I didn't get the picture taken of the ultrasound picture yet today. I will have to do that tomorrow. So far as far as I know the plan has not changed passed keeping me for the weekend. That makes me extremely nervous! Handling medication on my own would not only be scary for me but not having Asher monitored but once every other week would be awful. I would be in constant panic. I can't lose this little one. I refused to do that. I don't want to not be able to bring him home. I need this help to keep him safe and to keep myself safe. I couldn't handle losing another baby. It would break me apart completely. I am so scared for baby Asher. I don't want my body to be a hostile place for him. I want it to be a welcoming happy place were he grows safely.
The medication they have put me on now is called Atenolol. It does have risk factors for Asher that I just read about. It is a catagory D drug which is generally not given to pregnant people... only if the risk out weighs the benifits is it given. The risk for Asher is more then I thought it would be and I am going to have to talk with my doctor about it. Here is what I found out about the drug and pregnancy from a medical site
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) uses a category system to classify the possible risks to a fetus when a specific medicine is taken during pregnancy. Atenolol is considered a pregnancy Category D medicine. Pregnancy Category D is given to medicines that have shown clear evidence of risk to the fetus in studies. A pregnancy Category D medicine may still be given to a pregnant woman if the healthcare provider believes that the benefits to the woman outweigh the possible risks to the unborn child.
What Is the Risk of Using Atenolol When Pregnant?
A few of the complications seen with some fetuses or newborns exposed to atenolol near the end of pregnancy include:Low birth weight
Low blood sugar (hypoglycemia)
Slowed heart rate (bradycardia).
Studies suggest that the risk of low birth weight increases with the length of time that atenolol is used (with the largest problems seen when women take atenolol for several weeks or more during pregnancy).Atenolol and Breastfeeding: An Overview
Atenolol (Tenormin®) passes through breast milk in humans. It is a beta blocker medication that is used to lower blood pressure and decrease the heart rate. Atenolol can cause serious problems in a nursing infant. Therefore, you should talk with your healthcare provider before taking it if you are breastfeeding or plan to start.
Can I Take This Medication While Breastfeeding?
In general, taking atenolol while breastfeeding is not recommended. The drug accumulates in breast milk, and a nursing infant can receive a significant portion of the atenolol dose. Problems such as a dangerously slow heart rate, low blood pressure, and low blood sugar may occur. Blue skin (caused by problems with the heart and oxygen) has also occurred.
Talking With Your Healthcare Provider
You should talk with your healthcare provider about breastfeeding and Each woman's situation is different, and you and your healthcare provider understand your situation best. After considering what you want and expect, as well as your current health situation, the two of you can make a shared decision that is right for you.
No, this is not acceptable. I can't do this to my baby! I won't put him through any more pain! I don't know what to do! I need to talk to my doctor about this because I really hope there is a better answer. I don't want harm to come to me or Asher... but I will not put his life and his food source later at risk. God, please help me find a better way. I wish my doctor was here now but she won't be here until tomorrow. I can't be taking this drug through out the rest of the pregnancy. Good... my blood pressure is down now.... bad this drug can harm my baby. The FDA rates the safety of drugs for pregnant women in categories. Atenolol is catagory D the one right before never take. Here is how the categories go
Controlled studies in women fail to demonstrate a risk to the fetus in the first trimester (and there is no evidence of a risk in later trimesters), and the possibility of fetal harm appears remote.
Either animal-reproduction studies have not demonstrated a fetal risk but there are no controlled studies in pregnant women, or animal-reproduction studies have shown an adverse effect (other than a decrease in fertility) that was not confirmed in controlled studies in women in the first trimester (and there is no evidence of a risk in later trimesters).
Either studies in animals have revealed adverse effects on the fetus (teratogenic or embryocidal or other) and there are no controlled studies in women, or studies in women and animals are not available. Drugs should be given only if the potential benefit justifies the potential risk to the fetus.
There is positive evidence of human fetal risk, but the benefits from use in pregnant women may be acceptable despite the risk (e.g., if the drug is needed in a life-threatening situation or for a serious disease for which safer drugs cannot be used or are ineffective).
Studies in animals or human beings have demonstrated fetal abnormalities, or there is evidence of fetal risk based on human experience or both, and the risk of the use of the drug in pregnant women clearly outweighs any possible benefit. The drug is contraindicated in women who are or may become pregnant.
Why can't they give me something from A or B? Asher is my one chance to do this right... now I feel like I just screwed that up by blindly taking medications that could hurt him. God please for give me and protect my baby. There has to be something else that can be done... there just has to be! I will glady sit chained to my bed for the rest of the time... I will take anything that won't hurt him... but please please please... there has to be something else.