Monday, October 5, 2009

Am I "waiting for the other shoe to drop"?

My doctor has said a few time through my pregnancy that I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting.... how many shoes are there? Is there a centipede upstairs? Ok, to get that reference I will have to explain to yhe best of my knowledge what waiting for the other shoe to drop comes from.

Here is what I found when I looked it up:
What does the phrase 'waiting for the other shoe to drop' mean?
It means waiting for something bad to happen which you are expecting.
It comes from a famous music hall joke about a man who is woken by the drunk upstairs dropping his shoe. He can't get back to sleep because he is waiting for the second crash on the ceiling. Eventually he shouts upstairs "For Heavens sake, drop the other shoe!"

So as you can see waiting for just one shoe to drop... doesn't work for me or Asher. If that were true I would have been done with my shoe way earlier in this pregnancy. Misdiagnosed miscarriage, SCH, EIF, placenta close to cervix, PIH, preeclampsia, and contractions. Way too many shoes.

In reality though have I really been waiting for something bad to happen? Do I not trust God enough to be sure that my baby will be born happy and healthy? I know the loss of baby Nels 11 months ago today has effected me greatly. It made me mistrust doctors because they didn't catch his problem soon enough (even though I really do trust my doctors here, because they were the ones who got me my hour with Nels.) It caused me to re-examine my faith and belief in miracles ( although since then I have come to see my hour with Nels as my miracle.) It made me think that at any time a precious miracle could be snatched away. It tore my very heart out and left it in shreds. It made me believe that I had done something to deserve my son being taken away,,,but I know God does not work that way.

So why am I waiting for something more to happen? I know that I should be expecting the best for baby Asher. He will be born happy and healthy. He will come home safely. He will live a long happy life. I will be able to feed him, nurture him and give him everything the Lord has blessed me with. God has protected Asher so far. I have no doubts that God will bring him safely into this world.

So should I wait for yet another shoe? No way! No more shoes! See ya later centipede!

1 comment:

  1. I come in agreement with your last 2 paragraphs. No more shoes! And a happy and healthy baby who is being nurtured and cared for by an equally happy and healthy Mom!!!

    This message of yours has spoken to me in so many more ways that you will ever truly know. I am so grateful to have a friend of your spiritual maturity in my life speaking to my needs, even when you don't know you are.

    I am still praying - I really am!