Especially this weekend when Chris was at his brothers wedding. I think he knew that Chris wasn't here so he better move more so that mommy wouldn't be so stressed. Last night I thought he was doing a summersault in my rib cage. Those aren't monkey bars Asher. :)
It brings me some peace when I feel him moving. I have been trying to find peace and hope in the last couple weeks so that Asher will have a more peaceful growing time. I know that my peace has to come from God's peace that passes understanding. I know in my own flesh I will never be able to understand God's plan for this situation. Except that now I have found comfort in knowing that I am not alone going through this challenge.
One of the other mom's of a PUV angel is going through the same thing as she just found out she is having another little boy. She seems more peaceful and has found hope in faith. After I lost Nels my faith was shaken. I didn't know why I had to lose my precious little boy. But now I know there was a greater purpose... a purpose to help others who were carrying a precious PUV baby boy. God has gifted me with compassion for others and has given me tool to help others through things. But I believe also that you can never truely help people through hard situations like this unless you have atleast been through something similar. So God was just preparing another ministry opportunity for us and gave Nels the love and care he needed to become whole in heaven.
Lord God, I thank you for baby Asher. I ask that you help him to grow happy and healthy and that you help him to be born around Thanks Giving time. Lord we celebrate the time that you have given us with him so far and ask that you allow us to be a good mom and dad to him. Please fill us with your hope, faith and love that we can share with him. In thy name we pray, amen!